New Motto...

I will not let work drain my positive energy or the joy from my life...

Job search is on!!!

"What the World needs now, is Love sweet Love, its the only thing that there's just too little of"

I'm once again going through one of those periods where I have total disdain for my job...Biting my nails wondering if I will get fired.. I've always had problems with authority, a friend of mine thinks its because my parents made me move when I didn't want to as a young kid.. But I dunno. Anyways, I am aware that sometimes I am too vocal with authority in regard to what I think is right or wrong or whatever.. And I don't totally think this is a bad thing. In fact, I don't understand why so many others are complacent and mute. If people don't speak up then nothing changes and those who have power just get more powerful. Its true, I inherited an activist spirit.. and I am working on my communication skills so as to get what I want without pissing people off. Anyways the real problem with all this, is that it makes me feel hopeless, and stuck, like there are no opportunities out there for me and like I don't fit in in this world... And this makes me so angry.  And then that anger and frustration gets turned on myself on one hand because I feel that I am so much better then my actual qualifications present and then on the other hand because I also think I am better then the entry level opportunities or internships that I am qualified for and perhaps can't even get.. And because of this I feel stuck and pin-holed.  Somehow I have to prove my greatness to the world.. (I realize this is a construct of the western world). This blog doesn't quite do it either, too negative in its prose. I am a generally bright, spirited, kind, happy, creative, intelligent person. I like to work for people who possess  similar adjectives. People who are real about this world we live in. I take comfort in the rain that is falling right now and in the fact that if I had to, I could probably be a carousel operator. 10 bucks p/hr. The post says you must like children.. I would think you'd have to really really really like children.   I wonder if you get dizzy watching that thing spin all day long?

Hellooooo

Ladies, in case you didn't know, to my disdain, there is a terrible stereotype that women are cheap and don't tip well.. Especially tables of ladies all dining together.. I think this stereotype is derogatory and sexist and gross.. But Unfortunately the stereotype is proving itself tonight. Come on ladies... Let's change this.. 20% all the time. please.

Perspective...

So many things bring about perspective... I've just returned from a trip to the Northwest, specifically Seattle. I was so surprised by how courteous people were in the public sector.. Everybody is nice.. I ran in the road with my suitcase just to make it clear I was running for THAT bus... The bus driver says to me "Don't worry honey, I wasn't going to leave you behind"  In a busy restaurant while waiting for a table with my frosty beverage, totally in the way of the servers because there was no where else to go, the servers would say, "excuse me" with a smile... There seemed to be a mindfulness towards others and ones surroundings and also more genuine meaningful interactions concerned with building community. I realized I had been on edge and and really missing my really great friends..  Seattle is a smaller size city, balance of work and play can be more easily achieved.. People seem more focused on community and stewardship. Its small, there are less choices of where to go, so often friends tend to frequent the same locations, Produce is fresher, food tastes better and is way more affordable, so people of differing economics can all enjoy going out. In NY most people are from somewhere else. Many don't have big plans to stay here and invest in their communities, they just want to invest in themselves, neighborhoods are changing by the minute, servers are surly and let you know you're annoying and that you are very much in their way. Food is expensive and often disappoints, atleast my standards. There are so many places to go, friends live in different boroughs and its like a road trip to visit them..

I've returned to NY, the city that for me, is sometimes great and sometimes not.. And despite all my complaints of said city, I am happier upon my return! I'm following my dad's motto, "Live like you'll be there forever" And trying to find the ways I can cultivate community right here in my backyard :)

Disgusting Deed of the Day..

Sigh. Why people decide to put wads of paper towels in public toilets? Especially when there are 2 perfectly good rolls of toilet paper next to the lou? I don't know... Do they have no common sense? They must not realize, or if they do, care, about the circumstance they put an employee in. Scum. 

Upon entering the public, co-ed restroom at my workplace Friday night I was faced with a very disgusting dilemma... Pull the giant wad of paper towels out of the toilet or try to flush them and watch the toilet clog and overflow and end up being "out of order".. You guessed it. I stuck my arm in the toilet and pulled the paper towels out. Gross..gross, gross. I washed my arms up to my elbows 5 times... And still felt gross.  To the paper towel stuffer, I hope something much much more disgusting happens to you someday! Shame on YOu scummy gross toilet plugger! Don't come back SGTP!

Contemplations...

How to get a black Amex?  Have you noticed that the rich tend to be cheap? I see all walks of life working in a restaurant. In fact its kind of the perfect place to conduct social research.. Its just like taxes. Middle income earners tend to bear the brunt, with little complaint, tax-wise while the wealthy cheat the system and hoard their money... Want a black amex? Tip 15% or less. Be as cheap as possible. Always think about your bottom line. Be born into your parents riches. Marry for money.  If your friends don't think you're a douche its likely they are just as douchey as you.. ahhhh limitless credit. I would be ever so grateful if you wanted to pay off my student loans :) I'd even delete this post. My loans are just pennies in your world.

Following a discussion with co-workers, it seems to be consensus that the better your mood, the nicer you are to people the worse your tips.. The bitchier you are, the more bitter, the more you hate your job the better your tips are. This is so fucked up. I get it... People like to be slapped around a bit.. But this doesn't make it ok. Whether you, as the server, want to buy into it or not, there is a fucked up psychology that unfortunately affects most of us at some time or another when it comes to tipping. Our tips equate how much someone liked us, or what our self worth is.. Even though tips generally end up balancing out when everything is said and done... One person leaves a super shitty tip, while another person gives you 30%.. Even so,  tips can bring about so much anger and hate.  I think more restaurants should start including service in the check instead of allowing customers to decide the worth and/or wage of their server.

Helpful dining etiquette, impress your date and give your server a break... 

- Elbows in

- fork in your left hand, knife in your right

- Don't talk with your mouth full, or smack your lips..its gross.

- Chew slowly, don't gulp.

- Knife and fork together on your plate when you are finished eating.

- Knife and fork open on  your plate if you are still eating

- Say please and thank you, may I or I would like, not I want.

- Don't touch your server.. They do not get paid for you to exploit them. 

- Don't air wave for your check its rude.

Notes in the Raw.

To the men who leave up the CO-ED Toilet seats

I hope no one ever dates you..  You- the men who leave up the co-ed toilet seats and especially you- the men who piss all over the seat and leave it... GROSSS! Do you realize that women have to use these facilities as well.  So rude. YOU ruin the co-ed idea for everybody.

Notes from a hard night.

4/19/11 Need you an example of the duche bags who dine at the establishment where I work?? They carry the Louis Vutton guide to NYC.

Date Undisclosed..  "Its hot, its loud, I'm sick of yelling at people,  and lip reading because I can't hear them.. Love the warm weather, hate working in it.


ToBeContinued....

"What do you do, when all you wanna do.. is say Fuck youuuuu to Everybody?!" (sing along now..)

Quite a sea of discontent and anger this week at work. We are understaffed and overextended, mercury is in retro-grade and customers are vulturous. I'm an avid practitioner of yoga and this all consuming darkness is rather disturbing. I've been fed up and overwhelmed with anger.  I recognize that part of this is due to the establishment I work for. They, and their customers, take advantage of their employees, and well I've had enough and last night, as much as I tried to use my yoga skills, softening my eyes, thinking of flowing with grace, I couldn't stuff the anger and disdain toward their behavior. If you were to tip me 10% last night, you couldn't get away with it without being held accountable. Hell no, its not ok to tip 10% because you thought the food was overpriced. You chose to eat here, and Fuck you. I make $5. an hr. and tips are my lively-hood, and I'm not going to let you get away with it without a fight. I, of course said none of the latter, but did hold customers accountable..

I try to think of people as being intrinsically good natured, myself included.. But whoa.. when you're working in a restaurant you see the animal that people are... A pack of dogs biting and tearing the energy the goodness from the good and well-meaning people who are just serving you a little food and drink... And you know, I'm sick of it. I will not be abused at work anymore.

To you disgusting drunk goombah's... I am not a sex object because I am serving you food. Don't tell me I make you salivate or that I am delicious, I'll give you rabies fucker. Just wait till I get a taser..

So what do you do? How do you dispell this darkness, this belly of anger?

Do you turn on the faucet and scream? Or write songs? Get a laser beam?

Perhaps I'll find the answers tonight. Off I go to hopefully a much better night.